TOEFL ESSAY WRITING
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Week 6

Objectives:

  • To raise awareness of common mistakes made by TOEFL candidates.
  • To use effective strategies to avoid the mistakes.

Failure to Restate

Look again at this essay question from week 4:

Some people believe that all children should stay at school until the age of 18, others believe they should be able to leave earlier and get a job if they do not plan to go to university. Which point of view do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to explain your answer.

Now read this start to an introduction.

I strongly agree, and I think this is a serious problem in our society. It is not easy to find an answer for this problem that pleases everyone, however, I think we have to attempt a compromise that will benefit the majority.

Why is it a poor start?

The grammar is perfect. The vocabulary is good. Why isn’t it a good start? It’s because the writer is assuming that the reader can see the question. Of course, the TOEFL examiner can see the question, but you are expected to write as if they cannot see it.

The need to restate the question is a difficult idea for many students to understand, and is also the reason many students get lower grades than they should. It is important to just accept that this is a convention (normal style) of written English, and focus on developing your technique.

So let’s look at the poor start again. After two sentences the reader still doesn’t know what the essay will be about, and is getting confused and impatient? How can we fix it, and what is restating?

How to restate a question.

  • The best way to restate a question is to first look for synonyms for the keywords in the question:
  • Some people believe that all children should stay at school until the age of 18, others believe
  • they should be able to leave earlier and get a job if they do not plan to go to university. Which
  • point of view do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to explain your answer.
  • Then try using those synonyms to make the essay topic clear in your first sentence:
  • Many feel that students should remain at school until they are 18 years old, and have the opinion that they should not leave at a younger age to seek employment, however, I completely disagree…

Failure to Address the Question

Look again at this essay question from week 4:

Some people believe that weekend sports and physical activities should be compulsory for children from a young age. Others believe that children should be able to choose how they spend their leisure time. Compare these two points of view, and state which you agree with and why.

Now read this introduction.

Personally, I enjoy team sports games more than individual sports activities. I think that playing sport with others helps us to develop our social skills, and a positive community atmosphere. As a team, you can share your successes and your failures, and help each other develop and improve. Alone, I have no one to laugh with, and no one to help me up when I fall.

Why is it a poor introduction?

Once again, the grammar is perfect. The vocabulary is good. So why is it a poor introduction? It’s because I was never asked to write about team versus individual sports, and even if I write a great essay about that, it is completely irrelevant and will receive a low mark.

It can be tempting to write ‘away’ from the question sometimes, especially when you don’t have a strong opinion about or interest in the topic. Whatever you do, resist this temptation in the exam and focus on the question, however boring or difficult it may be.

How to address the question.

  • Circle the keywords in the question and brainstorm around them.

    Some people believe that weekend sports and physical activities should be compulsory for children from a young age. Others believe that children should be able to choose how they spend their leisure time. Compare these two points of view, and state which you agree with and why.

  • Plan your essay with constant reference to the question.
    • Introduction & Restatement?
      • paragraph 1 = why sport is important
      • paragraph 2 = why people think children should choose?
      • paragraph 3 = why schools should do more?
    • Conclusion
  • Restate the question in your introduction.
  • set topic sentences at the start of your paragraphs to help you stay focused.
  • Return to the question again in your conclusion

Good Luck!